Redoubling my Efforts to Modernize my Communication Practices

It was a year ago on the occasion of my 85th birthday that I wrote about how I was making an effort to upgrade my communication skills by placing the blame for my mistakes on everyone except me. That effort is progressing, but I still have much to learn and to put into practice. Now with my 86th birthday on the horizon, I think I need to redouble my efforts to modernize my communication practices. In particular I need to greatly improve my ability for self-aggrandizement and self-promotion. This is a practice that has grown by leaps and bounds in both the entertainment and political world, so I need to get on board or be left behind. As a practice exercise, I will restate my ad for the sale of my 1940 Lincoln Continental convertible. The existing ad in Hemmings just states the facts about its restoration and gives my selling price. That ad is not colorful and not in the fashion of today. Onward and upward . .

It is with a heavy heart that I now offer for sale my immaculately restored 1940 Lincoln Continental convertible. To say that this car is “world class” is actually an understatement of its place in the pantheon of great automotive achievements. What value can be placed on an epoch design that is universally recognized as one of the most significant of all time? This is more than a means of superb transportation. It is a work of art that is a “must have” for any connoisseur of the finer things in life. As it glides down the road, the barely perceptible hum of its powerful V12 engine signifies to all those less fortunate in life that you are in the top pyramid of successful men. The French stitched burgundy leather seats lined with the correct but ultra-rare cotton padding are a comfortable reward for your achievement of financial success. You quickly become aware that your shoes must not soil the superbly matched Wilton carpet that so voluptuously graces and comforts you. The flawless black finish of the body creates a fabulous jewel for the admiration of all who behold it. The gold trim alone testifies to the exclusive nature of this treasure.
Please do not be so ungracious as to ask the price for such a treasure. If you feel that you are qualified to enter into negotiations, I invite your representative to contact my retainer so that your credentials can be established and a discrete financial accommodation arranged. I must know that my precious treasure will pass into appropriate hands that will cherish my magnificent masterpiece both now and in the future when I am no longer able to mentor it.
Now that I have your attention regarding this jewel of a car, let the enticements continue!
Time to tackle the self-promotion of my book, The Bootlegger 40 Ford. Those who are expert in creating books for sale to the general public emphasize the importance of the front cover art and the back cover summary. Books need to catch the eye of a buyer inundated with choices, and then catch their interest in the contents. I have done this with my book, but this is not sufficient to make me stand out from the overly crowded field of fledgling authors. Some serious self-promotion is about to come into play. Let me know what you think.
In the history of great literature, there are giants that we all know, and we revel in the masterpieces that they have created. Who cannot be thrilled by Hemingway’s adventures or the social insight so well portrayed by the The Great Gatsby?  But what about today? Where do you look for new talent and fresh portrayal of contemporary life? Let me acquaint you with a new author that has burst upon the scene with his brilliant and exciting writing that must now become a part of your literary experience.
It is the life experience of Charles S. Clark that permeates and drives a series of adventures that takes you to a realm of adventure that will leave you both thrilled and exhausted. Who could have guessed that an icon like a 1940 Ford could be the foil to capture not only your attention, but also spark the interest of the whole world? What you may think at first glance to be just a fictional story about the adventures surrounding an old car soon evolves into a much deeper experience. You quickly learn that Clark is submersing you in depth into a realm of human nature that you may not have known existed. His clever manipulation of very original plot lines slowly and deliberately sucks you into a realm of human endeavor that you find both fascinating and exciting.
As the timeline of the stories progresses from the bootlegger era of the great depression to the promise of cheap, pollution free transportation of the future, you learn about a world of engineering brilliance coupled with criminal complicity. You feel, like Clark, that you are an innocent bystander as the world of high intensity action swirls about you. Not only can you not escape it, but you must also find the means to conquer it, even at the risk of your own life. So much contemporary adulation centers around the accomplishment of the young and, perhaps somewhat, vulgar talent. To realize that Clark, who is a senior citizen, can become an unstoppable force in the machinations running rampart in contemporary society is a revelation.
Using himself as an alter ego and the old 1940 Ford as an instrument of power and retribution, much like King Arthur used his Excalibur sword, you gain a new respect for his traditional values coupled with his personal daring. It is the fact of his daring coupled with dedication and superb training that can allow Clark to accomplish what many would consider to be outrageous or simply impossible results. He certainly must be recognized as the best of the best of new authors.
If you act immediately, you might still be able to get the first edition of the book that is on its way to the New York Times Best Seller list and is sure to be recognized and included in Oprah’s Book Club.
While you’re building your priceless collection of treasured books, be sure to add the extraordinary prequel for The Bootlegger 40 Ford: The Titanium Camshaft, which is a tale to thrill the mind of the scientist, the heart of the adventurer, and the soul of the artist, as the author deftly takes you through the complex and ingenious thoughts of a mastermind inventor, who then tests both his own mettle and the metal of the car whose revolutionary camshaft has sent first him, then his vehicle, spinning.
Maybe a bit overdone for a book about an old hotrod written by a senior citizen with greasy hands. “But we just have to see what happens” as our fearless leader so often proclaims.

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